Hello! Sorry for my long absence. I have been battling some personal concerns that I need not share it all. But, yeah, there are some that I might - depending on my mood today.
Life's been challenging lately. Most of the time I dealt it quietly. It's always been my nature not to share my personal life or interest to others. I used to confide to selected people only coz not everyone can keep their mouth shut.
I believe some, if not most, deal with life's challenges differently and we have to respect that. Some handle it by ranting on social media, some handle it quietly, some, well, we just never knew they are already torn inside but they never show it outside.
Anyways, most of my time recently evolved only on my family, especially my kids... My youngest has ASD, 14 years old now and on her 8th grade. And what an achievement that was on her part! I never shared mostly about her because I wanted to protect her in this 'perfect world' that people created... or probably I am just protecting myself so as not to get hurt from the people who created this 'perfect world'.
Yeah, it hurts to hear from others who know nothing of your struggle yet told you they understand how I felt. Even had the nerve to tell me that I should accept my daughter's case - as if I didn't do that a long time ago. But should I stop there especially when I see she is capable to go to school and learn grow and blend in? She learns the way you and I learn things in life, or what the school taught us, but just differently, or according to her pace.
In this modern era we kept fighting about acceptance, inclusivity. Others even support a lot of causes or awareness about ASD and post it in their social media pages or wherever, but have we done enough? Did we really see these people up close and personal, do we really champion them, or just use this awareness for clout? Words are easy to say, actions are not.
When my daughter was diagnosed at 2 1/2 years old, it broke my heart but I didn't stop there. I took heed of what her developmental doctor suggested by sending her to therapies (OT, language class, speech therapy). When she was accepted at school, I coordinated and complied with the school's policy, talk to teachers if needed, listened to them when there were incidents that need to be addressed. It wasn't easy but she succeeded and was able to catch up with regular kids her age.
I gave up my own dreams and ambitions in life, I lost lots of friends because I put my children first, I developed anxiety and even got sick myself but when I see my children, esp my child with ASD succeeded, then I felt like everything is probably worth it.
But it's just sad that other people I met along the way, or in other institutions are not as welcoming or helpful. Some of them only see the negative things they see in my child. Some cannot help but compare her to regular kids. Even ironic that a school counselor told me my daughter will struggle the next school year and suggested to try another school, and some relatives told me to better transfer my child to a public school as if they're the ones paying for my child's tuition.
Sorry, I've to vent this out because they don't how what I struggled, FIRST, as a MOM and second, as the only one who took care of my child since birth 24/7. I know her strength and I know her weaknesses. I also know how to accept her limitations but I cannot accept criticisms from people who don't even know my child personally and judge them from what they only see from the outside. As long as I breathe (or even beyond that), I promised to fight for my child or children's rights.
Okay, I'll stop from here coz I'm getting too emotional to type this. I have other matters to attend to. I still have my health to take care of. I just find a lot of things unfair but I will continue to try to look at positive things... and continue to fight for my child, also for kids who have no voice. END
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